


sans cesse, mon chéri

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gryffindor Eddie Kaspbrak, Hogwarts, Hogwarts AU, M/M, Minor Ben/Beverly, Misunderstandings, Slytherin Richie Tozier, technically they're british but they talk like americans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26483488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “I’m just telling you, Eddie”, Ben begins one day, while they are sitting together during Study of Ancient Runes, after Eddie has told him about what happened in the library. “Maybe you overreact when it comes to Richie”.“Overreact?” Eddie shoots him a disapproving glare. “Ben, he does anything to piss me off. You’ve seen it!”Ben sighs. “But everyone does, Eddie. We always tease each other. Why should Richie act differently?”Or, Hogwarts AU where Eddie is stuck in a study group with Richie. It ends up not being what he expected.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 121
Collections: Anonymous





	sans cesse, mon chéri

Eddie was not meant to go to Hogwarts.

His mother, a scarily overbearing and extremely germaphobic muggle, had used everything in her power to hide his magical ability and avoid existence of a magic world, one Eddie was fit for. Eddie did not know exactly why she was so averse to it, but he suspected it had to with his father, who had left when he was three. However, when he got eleven, a letter arrived to his house announcing his acceptance to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Sonia had to give up and let Eddie leave.

Eddie loves Hogwarts. He loves the enormous stairs which constantly move; he loves the Gryffindor common room, with its big, old chairs and the carpets which are far too dusty but which he tries not to think about too much. He likes the lake, the days he and Mike work on their Potions homework together, laid down on a blanket by its shore. He even likes the big, old, scary woods, or at least the way they look from the outside, the stories about them he listens from Beverly while they cuddle by the chimney. “They are not really scary, Eddie” she says. “I go there to smoke with Richie. It’s literally just a bunch of high trees”. Eddie usually smiles lazily, shakes his head. “Of course they’re not scary. Richie’s trashmouth would literally scare any creature off”. She usually huffs out a laugh at that, shoves him a little. “He’s not that bad, you know”.

Eddie does not, however, like Richie.

He first met him in their second year. During the first year, Gryffindors and Slytherins had not shared any classes. But, the year later, Eddie had spotted a tall, lanky boy with black hair and glasses so thick they enlarged his eyes cartoonishly during his Charms class. He was talking with a shorter, thin boy with brownish hair, who Eddie later found out was called Stanley. Stanley was listening to Richie talk with an unseizable expression, some times speaking back, but usually telling him to fuck off. Eddie had instantly noticed that Richie talked, talked, talked. He constantly talked through all of Flitwick’s lesson. The professor certainly noticed, but resorted to sigh and roll his eyes after Richie would not stop speaking over him at the fifth scolding.

He hated Richie. He hated his constant chatter, his inability to shut up, his disregard for directions and order, the way his tie was never tied well, his dirty jokes. And he hated, hated, hated how he constantly teased him, touched him, called him nicknames he did not like.

They were introduced to each other after Beverly had befriended him during class. Eddie had extended his hand for Richie to shake, but the boy had just grinned and ruffled his hair. “Nice to meet you, Eddie Spaghetti!” he had said.

“Do not call me tha—“

“How do you want to be called? Eds? Eddie Freddie? Edward?”

Eddie had known his face was getting red, his frown more marked. “Stop!”

“Leave him alone, Richie” Stan had interjected, rolling his eyes.

Eddie had stopped then, but the teasing just resumed the days after. During class, Richie would just get louder and louder the more Eddie showed annoyance. When running into each other in the hallways, he would shout something stupid at him and then wink. Some times he would feel his hand in his hair during breakfast, the boy laughing and walking out of the Great Hall.

“He l-likes m-m-messing with y-you b-because you l-l-et him” Bill told him once, after Richie had stolen a waffle from his plate and ran away.

“I do not! I always tell him to stop” Eddie protested, frowning.

“Ex-ex-actly. Th-that’s what he likes”.

“I don’t care what he likes! I just want him leaving me alone” he had answered, speeding up his pace towards their Herbology lesson which, thank God, they shared with Ravenclaws that year.

Eddie really, really does not like Richie. And he cannot understand how anyone would feel any differently about the boy.

However, “I’m telling you, Eddie”, Beverly is saying now, “Richie is fun. And he can behave, if you really want to. C’mon, say yes”.

They are having dinner in the Great Hall, Beverly in front of him and Bill at her sides. She is trying to convince him to let Richie and Stan join their History of Magic study group.

“Why can’t we tell them Mike and Ben will also be there and it’s too many people?” Eddie asks.

“Because they know each other and will know that’s a lie. Plus, we don’t even have History together with the Ravenclaws this year”. Bev sighs and looks at Bill, who shoots a look at Eddie. Before he can open his mouth and use some logical, reasonable argument, Eddie groans, throws his head back and exclaims “Okay! Okay, okay! We’ll just do what you want and let him come”. He shakes his head. “But don’t blame me when you find him drowned in the lake after he called me with one of his stupid names again”.

..

So it begins.

Their first session is on a Saturday at the end of September. The air is already chill, leaves are starting to fall and there’s a constant drizzle landing on the green grass around the School. Nevertheless, Beverly tells him they will study outside.

“I’ll get a cold”, Eddie protests.

“You won’t, Eddie. It’s not even that cold”, Bev says, unfazed.

Eddie huffs. The truth is, he is trying to dodge the study group in any way he can. He does not want to spend hours with Richie, inevitably sat next to him, their legs touching, the constant sound of his voice.

“Just be in the Great Hall at ten a.m. tomorrow. Alright?” Beverly just shoots a look at Bill, who nods. She squeezes Eddie’s arm and stands up. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight”, and she leaves.

Bill imitates her not long after. Eddie stays behind, on the red armchair next to the chimney, a little bit more, thinking about the best tactics to shut Richie up.

He could just not respond. Both Bill and Mike have told him repeatedly that Richie likes to mess with him just because he always talks back. That he likes getting him riled up.

But Eddie just can’t ignore Richie. The boy just wakes something in him, makes his heart thump, pushes him to the edge just by opening his mouth.

Finally he stands up, goes to his room, puts his pyjamas on and goes to sleep.

..

The next day, Richie is late.

They meet Stanley, alone, in the Great Hall.

“Hey guys,” he says, a slight smile on his face, “Richie’s late. Sorry.”

Eddie likes Stan. He’s quiet, observing. He does not take Richie’s shit, often shuts him down when he’s going too far. He is also a very good student, diligently taking notes in spite of Richie disturbing him every moment of his life.

“T-that’s o-okay. W-w-w-e c-c-an w-w-w-ait” Bill replies, weirdly stuttering more than the usual. Eddie rises an eyebrow and shoots him a confused look, but Bill ignores his gaze and stares at the floor.

“Hey! I’m here!” Richie comes running at that moment, two books in his hands, his glasses moving up and down as he runs. He stops abruptly when he’s close, huffs out a tired breath. “Woke up late”.

“Can’t you set a fucking alarm like all of us?” Eddie replies, a slight angry note in his voice.

“I was too tired yesterday after fucking your mom, Eddie Spaghetti” Richie replies. He winks, which just makes Eddie even more angrier.

He is opening his mouth to answer when Beverly interrupts him. “Let’s go”.

They walk out of the Great Hall, pass the Main Entrance, and then go down the hills that surround the school, walking until they have found an appropriate spot to lay their blankets.

Eddie sits next to Bill. Richie sits next to him.

“Boring!” Richie shouts half hour after they have started studying. He lies down on the blanket, his knees bent, legs propped up, glasses slightly in the wrong place. “Please, please, _please_ , let’s have a break”.

“Richie, it’s not even been an hour” Stan replies.

“Stan, Stan The Man, my dearest friend—“ Stan does not let him finish. “We’ll have a five minutes break only if it’s okay with the others. Guys?”

Eddie looks around. Beverly nods, Bill whispers “O-okay”. Eddie shrugs. “Whatever”. From the corner of his eyes, he can see Richie watching him.

“Want to smoke?” Beverly says. “Yes, my dearest Beverly!” Richie quickly responds, sitting up in a swift movement, taking the cigarette Beverly is offering.

Richie lights up his cigarette, takes his first drag and then conveniently blows out the smoke in Eddie’s direction. Eddie makes a great scene of coughing. “The fuck did you do that for?”.

“Your mom usually likes it, Eds”

“Your sister also likes it when I fuck her but I would never do that with you, Tozier” he replies. He can feel his face turning red. “And don’t call me Eds”.

“Alright, Eddie Spaghetti”.

Eddie groans, buries his face into his hands.

The study session goes relatively well. Eddie and Richie keeps arguing. Richie needs a break every twenty minutes. Stan obviously knows the most out of them all.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Beverly asks later, while they are eating lunch, just the three of them.

“It would be so much better if Richie was not there” is Eddie’s answer.

“Well, i-i-t would not r-really make s-sense, you kno-ow”, Bill begins. “I-it was his idea”.

“What?” Eddie looks at him, surprised. “I thought he had just inserted himself in”.

“He asked us during Care of Magical Creatures” Beverly explained. Eddie did not take that class. “He told us he and Stan wanted to set up a study group ‘cause History was too boring for just the two of them.”

“Doesn’t he have any other fucking Slytherin friends to study with?”

Beverly just shrugs.

 _Just don’t think about it_ , Eddie thinks, going back to eating his lunch in silence.

..

The next study session is disastrous.

They plan to meet up at the Main Entrance at quarter past four, fifteen minutes after Eddie finishes his Arithmancy class. Both Beverly and Bill have a free period at that time.

“Eds!” _Oh no_ , he thinks. _Not him._

“Hey, Eddie Spaghetti, wait for us!” Richie’s voice gets louder, closer, and then suddenly a hand lands on his shoulder, and Richie is in his space. Eddie reluctantly turns his head, sees a smiling Richie and Stan, who offers him a shy waving hand, which he replies to with a nod.

“What’s up? You pumped for today’s session?” Richie asks, far too enthusiasm in his voice if compared to last Saturday’s behaviour.

Eddie snorts. “Yes, pumped as fuck. I can’t wait to hear you Trashmouth talk all afternoon”.

“You love me, Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie still has his hand on his shoulder.

“I only love your sister, Tozier” Eddie replies, aggressively moving his shoulder so that Richie lets go.

“Woah, don’t be so jealous, man” Richie replies, pretending to be offended. “Just because I’m fucking your mom doesn’t mean I don’t love you”.

They finally reach the Main Entrance, where they spot Beverly and Bill already waiting for them.

“Look who we found after class!” Richie exclaims, as a greeting, patting Eddie on his back.

“Stop touching me!” Eddie exclaims, crossing his arms, still standing next to Richie.

“Same place as yesterday?” Richie asks.

“Uh, no.” Beverly answers. “It’s pouring out there”.

And it is pouring indeed. Big, white-looking drops landing on the stairs leading out, a grey fog covering any visible thing.

“We can go to the library” Stan proposes.

Eddie scoffs. “As if Richie is not going to get us thrown out”.

Richie gasps. “I will have you know, Eddie Spaghetti, I’m surprisingly good at staying silent”.

..

He’s not. Or better, he’s certainly able to stay silent. But he won’t let Eddie do the same. He sits next to him. Does not talk. Quietly listens to Stanley explaining something. Suppresses a laugh.

But then he starts drawing on Eddie’s books. Small, chubby hearts. Eddie yanks his head away. Richie leaves a mark with his feather on his hand.

“Stop, Richie!” Eddie exclaims, which results in Madam Pince shooting him a warning look.

Richie grins, places a finger over his mouth. Eddie shoots him an angry look.

“Don’t be a bad boy, Eddie” Richie whispers.

“ _G-guys_ ”. They turn to look at Bill at the same moment, who’s shaking his head disapprovingly.

They go back studying in silence, until Eddie feels Richie’s silent gaze on him. He turns slowly, slowly enough that Richie has time to go back to his book. His cheeks are slightly red.

“Why the fuck are you staring at me?” he whispers.

“You just look like your mom, Eddie” Richie answers. “And I miss her”.

“Oh, God” Eddie groans, but he must have spoken a little too loud, because Madam Pince looks at him again, “Mr. Kaspbrak”, she hisses.

“What?! It’s not my fault!” Eddie protests.

“Mr. Kaspbrak, either leave or stay silent, or you will face consequences”.

Eddie can feel his face getting red, anger slowly building into him. “Fine!” he exclaims. “I’m leaving”. He turns to look at Richie. “Happy?”.

He quickly collects his books and bag, and gets out the library, the words _Fuck Richie Tozier, Fuck Richie Tozier_ repeating in his mind.

..

They don’t have study sessions the next week.

“I’m just telling you, Eddie”, Ben begins one day, while they are sitting together during Study of Ancient Runes, after Eddie has told him about what happened in the library. “Maybe you overreact when it comes to Richie”.

“Overreact?” Eddie shoots him a disapproving glare. “Ben, he does anything to piss me off. You’ve seen it!”

Ben sighs. “But everyone does, Eddie. We always tease each other. Why should Richie act any differently?”

Eddie does not respond.

Ben’s right. Among their group of friends, they like to tease each other, push each other to the limits. Eddie is never fazed by snarky comments. He usually responds, but then just laughs and lets it go.

But Richie is different. When Richie is around, Eddie feels his senses are heightened and his sensitivity levels can’t sustain anything. He gets extremely defensive. He feels his stomach tighten. It’s like his body and his mind work together to build a shield against Richie fucking Tozier.

“He was fucking drawing on my books, Ben. He does not even know me that well” Eddie spits out, trying to find something which can justify his anger.

Ben raises an eyebrow. “So? Beverly always does that. No one cares.”

“That’s because you’re in love with her, dipshit” Eddie answers immediately, snorting out a laugh. The blonde immediately blushes and ducks his head down.

Everyone knows he’s had a crush for Beverly since they sat in front of each other on the train for Hogwarts on their first year. Ben has never done anything about it.

“Well, maybe that’s the point” he feels Ben whisper some minutes after.

Eddie wonders what that means, but he does not investigate further.

Later, he’s wearing a white sweater and red shorts, determined to make the most of the only sunny day he has seen in weeks. After finishing his run, he bumps into someone while he’s entering the castle.

“Oh, Eddie, hi” a familiar voice says.

Eddie sighs. “Hi” he almost hisses, ready to leave immediately, but he turns instead. Richie is wearing an oversize denim jacket over a black t-shirt, a cigarette in the corner of his mouth. He seems uneasy, somehow.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Just went running” Eddie replies. “I’m going to take a shower”.

Eddie notices Richie gets a little red. “Uh, okay”. He almost leaves, when Richie suddenly asks “Are you mad at me?”.

Eddie sighs. “Is this a sincere question or just an elaborate mom joke?”

Richie laughs softly. “It could be both, if you wanted”.

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not mad. You’re just insufferable sometimes, Trashmouth”.

Richie winks. “You love it”.

He flips him off, but he does not feel mad. “See ya”, Eddie says, walking quickly past him.

“Missed you, Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie shouts at him, earning him a shush by a professor walking by.

..

On Monday, after Arithmancy, he’s walking towards his Potions class when, suddenly, he spots Bill talking with someone whose face he cannot see.

Bill spots him quickly, he shoots a smiles. “Eddie!”

Eddie stops his walk, stops a step behind the pair at the same moment the mysterious head turns. It’s Stan.

“Hi, Eddie” Stan says, calmly.

“Hi” Eddie responds, his voice a whisper. 

“Are you coming to class?” Eddie asks Bill, who promptly nods. “Yeah, I-I-I’ll b-b-be there in a m-minute”.

“Cool” Eddie smiles briefly. “Well, see you there” He turns his head towards the other boy. “And, uh, bye, St—“

“Eddie, listen” Stanley interrupts him, his face getting even more serious. “I know Richie can be too much at times. But he isn’t bad, you know? He just doesn’t know when to stop some times”.

_The fuck does that mean?_

“Okay. Yeah. I get it”. Eddie answers anyway, nodding slowly. “Well, see you” he finally says, and walks away.

..

The next study session comes on a Tuesday, right after History class.

Eddie has sat next to Bill all lesson, while Beverly has found a place between Richie and Stan. Right after the class, which is the last for the day, she approaches Bill and him with a smile.

“Richie says Flitwick’s classroom is always empty, this time of the day” she explains. “We could go study together”.

Bill immediately accepts.

Eddie ponders for a moment about saying no, but does not want to seem immature.

“Okay” he says finally, letting out a sigh.

Beverly smiles enthusiastically, then turns towards Richie and Stanley, who are still standing next to their desks.

Richie does not talk to him while they go towards their destination, opting instead to tell something about Care of Magical Creatures to Beverly.

They enter the classroom, who’s clean, and quiet, and empty just like Richie had said.

“Flitwick has choir lessons” Richie explains. “He never comes in here”.

Eddie takes his spot next to Beverly, and he’s surprised (but, maybe, he should not be) when Richie plops down next to him. He expects him to say something, but Richie stays quiet.

The temperature of the room is a little less than average, and Eddie finds himself glad to be squished between Beverly and Richie.

Then, at a certain moment, he realises that Richie is really, really close.

He doesn’t know when it happened, but their legs’ whole length are stuck to each other. He can feel the fabric of their trousers touching, can almost sense his skin under it. _It’s nice._

Richie seems unmoved by this.

“You okay, Eddie Spaghetti?” he whispers soon after, sensing Eddie’s confusion.

“Don’t call me that, asshole” Eddie immediately responds, less hastily than usual.

“A pretty mouth like yours should not say those naughty words, Eds” Richie responds, winking at him.

Eddie feels himself blushing. “You sister doesn’t seem to mind”. That elicits a laugh from Richie.

Things start getting better after that.

They have four more study session in the following month, one each week. Twice in the library, once in Flitwick’s room again, and an outside one on a pretty lucky day.

Richie and Eddie’s banters continue, but it’s less angry than usual. They fall into a nice equilibrium, with Richie teasing Eddie and Eddie responding, as always, but it’s different now. Eddie never walks away. When Richie touches him, he lets his hand lingers a little bit more, and scrolls it away more softly. Even his friends notice. “You guys seem to get along better than usual”. Beverly says after one of the library sessions.

Eddie shrugs. “I guess”, he just responds, not really saying anything.

The truth is that, Eddie realises, he actually does not mind Richie. Sure, he’s loud, messy, disregards rules and orders, disturbs during class, constantly invades Eddie’s space. But even then, Eddie does not mind Richie. He finds himself laughing in class after Richie has said something silly more often than not. He kind of admires his determination to disobey authority. He gradually gets used to having his hands on him. He finds himself relaxing his face everytime Richie sits next to him.

One day, a Sunday, he finds himself alone in the common room. Beverly and Bill have left for Hogsmeade. He has opted not to go. He has felt weak for the past few days and does not want to risk getting a cold.

So he puts on a brownish red jumper and finds a quiet spot in a corner of the North Tower, curling up beside a window, a book in his arms.

He has only gone through one page when he sees a figure getting closer.

When he turns his head towards the person, he realises it’s Richie, wearing a dark green knitted jumper and black jeans.

“Eds!” Richie exclaims, surprised.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asks immediately, surprised as much as the other boy. He does not even feel frustrated by the sight of Richie. He almost feels glad.

“Let’s just say my darling Sprout did not really appreciate my impression of her last week”. He grins when Eddie rolls his eyes. “What about you?”

Eddie shrugs. “Was just not feeling very well”.

Richie opens his mouth, and Eddie expects one of his usual jokes. Instead, what comes is: “Hey, do you want to go someplace quiet?”

Eddie looks at him for a moment, wondering about the boy’s intent.

“C’mon, Eddie Spaghetti, did you lose your voice?” Richie jokes, sticking his tongue out.

Eddie closes his book with force and stands up. “Better be worth it, Trashmouth”.

He has to suppress a gasp when Richie grabs his wrist delicately, leading him up the stairs in silence.

He does not expect to stop before the Divination classroom, with its door locked.

“The Div–?“ Eddie begins, but Richie stops him. “Just give me a moment” he says, unlocking his hand from Eddie’s wrist and disappearing upon the stairs.

Eddie takes a moment to put his fingers on the wrist Richie has just held, feels its warmth. He has no time to think any further, because Richie is suddenly back, a key in his hand.

“What? Richie, where did you get that?”

“Let’s just say”–Richie puts the key inside the lock–“I have my ways” and he turns the key, the door opening.

Eddie has never been in the Divination room. Firstly, he has opted for more useful elective subjects, such as Arythmancy and Ancient Runes. Secondly, Divination is a bluff. Thirdly, Professor Trelawney is fucking weird.

He has seen it, though, from the outside, when he some times waited for Beverly and Mike to go study with him, and has always felt uneasy watching its dusty ambience, the large, grey balls on the tables and the thick, dark curtains.

“Miss Trelawney loves me” Richie finally starts to explain. “She says I’m, like, one of her best students. Told me lots of shit, like where she keeps her spare keys in case she loses the main batch. Could you believe that?”

“Divination is bullshit” Eddie exclaims in response. “You know that, right?”

Richie shrugs and grins at Eddie. “Oh, Eddie Spaghetti. Are you jealous?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Of who? You?” He scoffs. _“Please”._

Richie plops down on the carpet at the center of the room. He pats the spot next to him.

Eddie frowns. “These carpets are, like, full of dust.” he says, but he sits anyway.

“What are you reading, anyway?” Richie asks. “Please tell me it’s not school”.

“It’s Potions” Eddie replies, sighing. “I was supposed to study with Mike this week but he had something else to do”.

“It is Sunday, Eds. No one studies on a Sunday” Richie says jokingly, changing position. He is now laying down, his right hip on the floor, balancing himself with his elbow down. He’s looking at Eddie. Eddie can feel his heavy gaze on him, and suddenly feels vulnerable.

“That’s because you don’t care about school, Tozier” he replies, opening his book and pretending to start reading furiously.

Richie does not say anything. Eddie gazes at him at the corner of his eyes, afraid he has said something offensive. However, Richie is smiling softly, looking at Eddie’s hands. He slowly changes position, scooting closer to Eddie.

“You know, I’m not that bad at Potions” he says. “Maybe I can help you”.

Richie is very close now. Eddie can feel Richie’s right arm behind his back, his chin right above Eddie’s left shoulder.

They gradually relax, slowly reading the book, stopping every few minutes to discuss about a point. Richie is actually bad at Potions, has many more doubts than Eddie, who some times is the one who has to explain him something basic. But he does not feel like complaining.

Little by little, they change positions, ending up with Richie laying with his back on the floor, hands behind his head, and Eddie’s head on his chest, hands holding up the book for them to read.

Suddenly, Eddie realises how much he wants to throw the book away and puts his arm around Richie’s chest, to look at Richie’s eyes and kiss him.

_Oh. Fuck._

_So that’s what it is._

Eddie suddenly sits up. “I have to go” he says hurriedly, leaving Richie a little dumbfounded.

“Oh. You sure?” he asks him, and Eddie suspects it’s all in his head, but he feels disappointment in his tone.

“Yeah, I… should go back to the Common Room. Beverly and Bill will be back shortly” he explains.

Richie clears his throat. “Right. I should make myself ready for Stanley, too” he says jokingly, and laughs, standing up.

“Thanks for… this, by the way” Eddie says. _Whatever the hell this was_.

“Anytime, Eds” Richie smiles.

“Don’t call me that” Eddie replies. But he’s smiling.

..

Over the next few days, Eddie’s life keeps going, while he has to face the fact that _he likes Richie Tozier_.

Things go on like usual. Eddie hangs out with his friends. They have study sessions once a week. Richie sits next to him, presses his leg to Eddie’s. Eddie pretends he feels fine. Bill stutters. Bill stutters more when Stanley is around. Beverly and Richie smokes in the woods. Mike helps Eddie with his homework. Ben crushes on Beverly.

It’s all the same.

It’s the beginning of December now, and Eddie hates this time of the year. It’s cold, his nose is always runny, his hands are always dry, and in twenty days he is going to leave Hogwarts and spend the holidays with his mother.

Yet, everyone is cheerful, happy that it’s almost Christmas. They drink butterbeer in Hogsmead and have snowball fights which Eddie tries to avoid, but always ends up participating in.

“Guys, I’m telling you”—Richie is repeating for the fourth time today—“I have done it a hundred times. It’ll be fine”.

It’s been a week that Richie has been talking about his plan to throw a small party in the Divination classroom on the Saturday before everyone leaves.

“There’s a million possibility of being found out and just get expelled” Ben points out. Eddie agrees with him, but the idea of spending the evening with Richie is too tempting to shoot it down.

“C’mon” Richie cries.

“It is dangerous, Ben’s right” Stan interjects. “But Richie has never been caught, as far as I know”.

Richie beams. “Stan The Man! Did you hear that, guys? Stanley is telling you it’s okay!”

Stan’s positive opinion seems to shake something in the others.

Bill is the first one to agree. “I-i-i-‘m in.”. Everyone follows.

..

The planned Saturday, they do everything Richie told them. They leave at 9.45. Richie says it’s the best moment, because the Professors would be going back to their bedrooms at that point. They follow the path leading to the Ravenclaw Tower, but stop before the stairs and take the hallway on the right, pass past the courtyard and finally go up the stairs leading to the Divination Room. They knock once, wait four seconds, knock twice. The door opens.

Everything is kind of the same inside, except for the lack of tables and grey balls, which have been crumped together at the borders of the room, and the bottles of alcohol on Trelawney’s desk.

Eddie’s eyes immediately lands on Richie, who is smiling widely and already looking at him.

“You made it!” he exclaims. He puts an hand on Eddie’s shoulder, pulls him closer. Eddie pretends the touch does not make him feel like his stomach hurts. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

Beverly shakes her head. “Pretty easy, actually. Is that for us?” She asks, nodding at the bottles on the table.

“Madame, please, suit yourself” Richie replies with a weird accent.

The party goes on smoothly. There’s not a lot of people. He sees Stan, Mike, and Ben. There are two Slytherin girls he is then introduced with.

He sticks by Richie’s side all night. He is taken by the wrist, brought around the room. His hair gets messed up by Richie’s hand. He protests, but he likes the feeling.

Little by little, people leave. First it’s the Slytherin girls. Then it’s Bill, accompanied by Stan with the excuse of leading the way. Then it’s Beverly, Ben and Mike.

“Are you coming, Eddie?” Mike asks.

Eddie is trying to find an excuse to stick around more. “I’ll help Richie clean. If he did it alone, even Trelawney would notice something’s wrong”.

“Hey!” Richie protests, but he doesn’t go any further.

So it ends up being just the two of them.

Cleaning does not take long, it’s just a matter of making the bottles disappear and rearranging the tables in their original spot.

“Thanks, Eds” Richie says when they’re done, sliding an arm around Eddie’s neck. “You’re a lifesaver”.

Eddie turns his chin up, looks at Richie, who’s noticeably taller than him, in the eyes. He’s a little tipsy, he can feel his mind working at a slower pace than usual. It would take so little to kiss him there, at that very moment.

Richie seems to be in his thoughts, too, because he’s intensely looking at Eddie, his eyes a bit red because of the pot he smoke, smelling of a mix of weed and alcohol.

Eddie is working up the courage to just get on his tiptoes and plant a kiss on Richie’s lips, when the taller boy says ”We’d better go”, untangling his arms from Eddie.

He takes Eddie’s hand into his and starts walking towards the door. “You have to be extra quiet now” he warns. “Filch is always up at this hour”.

They start walking down the stairs quietly but quickly. Richie is swift, wary, and knows exactly where to go. And Eddie really, really wants to kiss him.

They’ve almost reached the Gryffindor Common Room when they hear some steps coming towards them. “Shit!” Richie can’t help but exclaim.

“Is someone there?” a distant voice calls.

They’re immobile for a moment, Richie’s eyes scanning for a way out. Finally, still holding Eddie’s hand, he drags him towards a small door, opens it and quickly closes it behind them when they’re inside.

They are in a very, very small room, surrounded by brooms and buckets, smelling faintly of mold.

The room—or better, the closet—is clearly not meant for two people. Richie is still holding Eddie’s hand. Their chests are pressing to each others. He can feel Richie’s breath on him. He hopes Richie says something, anything, to break down the tension.

Instead, Richie kisses him.

It’s a quick peck at first, just lips. Richie’s lips are chapped, but warm and inviting. The kiss lasts less than two seconds, but Richie’s gaze remains on him for a moment. Eddie looks at him in the eyes, licks his own lips. And then, Richie kisses him again, this time with more force. Eddie opens his mouth a little, inviting Richie’s tongue to come him. He feels it entering, touching his own. Eddie lets go of Richie’s hand and puts his on Richie’s neck. Richie holds Eddie by the waist.

Eddie would give anything for this moment to last forever, but Richie suddenly pulls away and he has to repress a disappointing sound.

“I–“ It seems like Richie is thinking about saying something, then he shakes his head. “You need to go”.

Eddie has no time to say anything in response, because Richie opens the door and walks out. He walks hurriedly in front of Eddie, turning his head every few minutes to check the boy’s behind him.

When they’re finally in from of the door of the Gryffindor Common Room, Richie just nods, does not smile. “Goodnight, Eddie”. He does not even let Eddie respond before walking away.

..

The following days are torture for Eddie.  
Richie ignores him when they cross each other in the hallways. He keeps being the same, loud person in class, but never looks at Eddie. He does not come to their last study session, Stan saying he’s sick.

Eddie feels sick, too. He spends the last few days prior to the start of the holidays facing the realisation that _Richie kissed him_ , that _Richie now does not talk to him anymore_ and that that can only mean one thing: that _Richie regrets the kiss_.

Eddie goes back home without speaking to him.

He spends Christmas and the rest of the holidays in the worst mood he has ever been.

Beverly and Bill write to him throughout these few weeks. He gets a letter from Mike, too, and a little gift—a small snow globe with two figures dancing with each other inside—by Ben.

He knows it’s stupid to expect a letter from Richie, but he feels disappointed anyway when nothing arrives.

..

Somehow, in the midst of the confusion he felt during the first semester due to Richie’s existence, Eddie has missed the hints of Bill and Stan’s blossoming relationship.

“Wait—What?” he says, dumbfounded, when his best friend tells him and Beverly that he’s dating Stanley, at the same moment Beverly cheerfully exclaims “That’s great, Bill!”

“Eddie, they have been flirting like crazy since September. How the did you not notice?” she asks him, snorting a—disapproving—laugh.

 _I was too busy liking Richie_ is what Eddie wants to say. “I’m the worst friend in the world” is what comes out of his mouth instead.

Bill shakes his head. “Don’t w-worry.” He smiles. “A-are you okay with this?”

Eddie shoots him a confused look. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Stan i-is R-R-Riche’s best friend” Bill responds, his voice lowering as if he was telling a secret. “And you guys d-don’t talk a-anymore”.

“Yeah, what happened between you two anyway?” Beverly asks interested.

Eddie starts chewing the inside of his mouth, trying to find a valid answer which does not go like _Don’t worry, we just kissed and then he stopped talking to me_.

“We just had a misunderstanding” Eddie shrugs. “You know how he is”.

He can sense that neither of them is convinced, and he notices the looks they shoot each other. But they let it go.

..

Eddie really, really tries not to be dramatic, but Bill being with Stanley _is a nightmare_.

He doesn’t mind Stanley, never has. Eddie feels like they are similar on many fronts, with their fixation with tidiness and uh, well—their attachment to Richie.

But what Eddie had not realised immediately, is that Bill being with Stan means Stan going out more often with all of them. And this means Richie tagging along.

He thinks he can sustain it at first. Richie does not sit next to him anymore. He chats with Beverly. Digs some jokes at Bill and Stan’s relationship. When Ben’s there, he teases him.

But he never, ever talks with Eddie. He cannot even look at him in eyes.

Until one day, during History of Magic, he notices that Beverly does not sit next to him. “Where are you going?” he asks suddenly.

“I’m going to sit next to Martha” Beverly explains calmly, moving towards the left side of the room.

Eddie remains a little confused but, before he can say anything, he senses someone looking at him.

“Is this seat free?” a familiar voice asks.

Eddie turns instantly, so quickly that he must look ridiculous. He cannot help but blush when he sees Richie, his head towards the ground, not even able to look at him. _Fuck_.

He tries to regain any ounce of dignity he has left. “Suit yourself”.

Richie sits quietly next to him, and neither of them speaks for at least half hour.

Then, when Professor Binns shuts up and tells them to read from page 123 to page 127 of the book before he can continue his lecture, Richie suddenly turns his face towards Eddie.

“Eddie” he whispers, carefully. Eddie wishes he called him differently.

Instead of replying, Eddie looks at him briefly. Richie takes this as an encouragement to keep speaking.

“I’m sorry” he says, quietly. “About the… you know… the kiss”

Eddie can feel his heart thumping, his whole body tensing up. Richie is sorry about the kiss. Richie is literally telling him that the kiss was a mistake.

“I’m sorry, too” he replies, finally, his eyes stuck on the pages.

He hopes the discussion will be over now, that Richie will just go back reading—or at least pretending to—but the boy opens his mouth again. “We were drunk. I would never do that again”.

 _Oh, fuck_. This is even worse than he expected.

He wants to stand up, takes his stuff and leaves the classroom to lock himself in a bathroom and cry like a baby. Instead, he takes a deep breath, chews the inside of his mouth until he can feel blood, and when the tears in his eyes have finally dissipated, he says: “Don’t worry. I understand”.

“Are you mad?”. Eddie wants Richie to fucking stop talking, but he does not want to make things worse. So, he shakes his head, unable to speak due to the lump in his throat.

Richie seems satisfied with that, because he does not say anything else.

And _oh, Merlin_. This is even worse than Eddie expected.

As soon as class ends, he stands up, does not say goodbye to anyone, and just goes straight to the nearest bathroom. He locks himself in a stall, breaths deeply once, twice, three times, but he cannot help but crying, a hand on his mouth to stifle the sound.

..

Things do not get any easier after, and Eddie still cannot look at Richie in the eyes, but he feels Richie has started relaxing a bit about Eddie after the confession.

They still do not talk, or at least not like they used to. Richie will ask Eddie things, like _what class are you going to_ or _how’s potions going_ , but the talks feel strained, and only happens when it’s just the two of them, usually with Stanley and Bill talking, or doing whatever the fuck couples do, behind them.

It’s the end of February now. Eddie finds himself more often than not in the North Tower, sitting beside a window, with his eyes glued to the outside, observing the snow melting off, the first rays of sunshine coming through. It’s 11 am now, and he’s waiting for Ben and Mike to collect him to go to the picnic Stan invited him to for his birthday.

“You ready?” he hears, a hand coming to pat his shoulder. Mike.

He is not, actually ready. He feels he is never ready to spend time with Richie. What once came natural—the banter, the jokes, just hanging out—is something that he has to be extremely careful about now. He feels like the kiss with Richie changed everything. Everytime he is near the Slytherin boy, he can feel his heart speeding up, goosebumps on his skin. First comes the intense desire to kiss him. Then comes the realisation that Richie does not reciprocate the feeling.

Richie, Stan, Bill and Beverly are already waiting for them when they arrive. Beverly and Richie are talking, sharing a cigarette. Stan and Bill are next to each other, their shoulders touching. Bill is looking at him fondly, while Stan is probably explaining him something.

Everything goes as Eddie expected: he tells Stan happy birthday, nods shyly at Richie, smiles at Beverly and Bill. He tries to relax, breathing in and out the air, which is not quite as pleasant as in May, but better than the cold, stinging winter air.

He notices almost immediately that Stan is moving next to him. He looks around, wonders whether Bill is close, but he spots his best friend chatting with Mike some meters away.

“Hey, Eddie” Stan greets him, eyes furrowed in a serious gaze. “Can we talk?”

Eddie gulps. Shouldn’t he be the one with the serious expression, ready to give Stan the _if you hurt him I’ll kill you_ talk?

“Sure” he responds, feigning indifference.

“Listen, I think you’re a good person. Bill says a lot of good stuff about you, you know?”

Eddie looks at Stan, confused. “Uh, well. Thanks?”

Stan’s lips curls into a brief smile. “I know that attraction can’t really be controlled…”Eddie is even more confused now. “But if you hurt Richie again, you will hear from me”.

_What_

_What the fuck?_

Eddie frowns, shakes his head a little. He opens his mouth, closes it.

Stanley clearly notices his confusion, because he starts speaking again ten seconds after Eddie hasn’t yet. “Richie told me about the kiss”. Eddie nods. “You broke his heart, man”.

“Broke… his heart?” Eddie asks tentatively.

Stanley nods. “He literally adored—well, adores—you” he explains, as if it’s the most evident thing ever. Eddie’s heart sinks at hearing that. “He was devastated that you didn’t like it”.

_And, oh. Oh, fuck._

“What!, I. Uh. I need to talk to Richie”. Eddie stands up, leaving a confused Stanley looking at him. He looks around, sees Richie a few metres away, looking at him. As soon as their eyes meet, Richie looks somewhere else.

Eddie takes a deep breath, tries to muster up all the courage he has. He walks steadily towards where Richie’s sitting. Richie does not move, looks at him again. He’s wearing the same dark green jumper he was wearing the first time they went to the Divination room. He’s sitting on the grass, his knees up to his chest, arms hugging them.

“We need to talk” Eddie says as soon as he’s close.

“S-Sure” Richie responds.

Eddie sits next to him, careful to maintain some distance between them. He feels his hands sweating although it’s fucking cold out there. He wants to say something smart, or at least reasonable, but what comes out is: “Richie, you’re a fucking jerk”.

Richie widens his eyes, clearly taken aback.

“You… I…” Eddie stutters, but he cannot fucking get his thought together. “Why… the fuck … did you stop talking to me?”

“I felt like an asshole, man” Richie replies. “I took advantage of you”.

Eddie is even more confused. “What? When?”

“In that closet!” Richie exclaims, his right hand pointing towards an indefinite point. “You were drunk and I kissed you!”. After this brief moment, Richie burrows his face into his knees, and mumbles something Eddie cannot grasp.

“What–What did you say? I can’t hear you, Richie” Eddie says, scooting a little closer, trying to understand the boy’s words.

Richie moves his head so that he’s speaking towards Eddie. “I said” he takes a deep breath “That’s not how I had imagined our first kiss”.

Eddie closes his eyes for a moment. He feels a contrasting set of emotions inside him. But above all, he wants to kiss the shit out of Richie.

“Richie, you’re fucking dumb. You know that, right?” he asks, but there’s no malice in his voice. “I have had a crush on you for, like, seven months”.

Richie becomes even more redder than he was moments before. His eyes wide, his mouth forming a small “o” and then curling up into a smile. His shoulders relax, and he moves his body in a different position, lowering his knees and turning towards Eddie.

“So, like” he says, his smile getting bigger. “I’m a good kisser, uh?”.

Eddie snorts, rolls his eyes. “Come here”. He moves closer, puts an hand behind Eddie’s head, and yanks him closer, their lips colliding.

This kiss is different. The closet’s kiss was frantic, steamy, wetter.

This is slow. Sweet. Eddie takes the time to savour the feel of Richie’s lips on his. It’s Richie who opens his mouth a little this time, and Eddie is happy to deepen to kiss, taking his time to think about what he is doing, appreciating the taste of Richie’s mouth, the warm smell of cigarettes and coffee.

Eddie could keep going forever, but a “Fucking finally!” makes them both jump, realising they’re not alone. They both look towards the origins of the sound. Beverly has thrown a fist in the air, a smile plastered on her lips.

Eddie laughs a little, sticks a tongue out for Beverly. Then, he looks at Richie again.

“You’re a fucking dumb-ass, Trashmouth” he says, stealing a quick, light kiss again.

“You love it, Eddie Spaghetti” Richie smiles, softly.

And, _well,_ Eddie thinks. _Maybe he likes Richie Tozier, after all._


End file.
